Affirmations: The Never Ending Search for Validation

Affirmations are a drug that we get addicted to from childhood. If you’re a parent, I’m sure you’ve had days when your little one runs up to you with excitement in his or her eyes and presents to you their clay cup or finger painting that they slaved away all day on at school.

[pullquote]Affirmations from men are great, but far from needed. Treat affirmations that you get from men as icing on the cake. Embrace them. Receive them, but don’t make them a requirement.[/pullquote]

Although there is a gifting element in these presentations, what is sought after more by your child are affirmations that they did a good job. They are seeking to find out if you approve of them, more so than their work. They are in search of validation. Everyone wants to feel good about what they do in life. We all want to feel like we’re making a difference.

Affirmations that we’re doing a good job are most valuable when they come from those closest to us. My wife is a great support person in my life. She is always willing to help when I need help, to proofread when I need a proofreader, and to encourage when I need encouragement. The thoughts and opinions of some guy down the road don’t mean nearly as much to me as the thoughts and opinions of my wife. What my family thinks of the work I do fuels me and inspired me to do even greater things.

If we aren’t careful, we can allow the satisfaction we get from affirmations to drive us instead of our life’s calling. We can quickly find ourselves in the position where we are “performing” for the accolades we get from the people around us, rather than allowing ourselves to be used by God to be a blessing to others. Affirmations are great when we get them, but affirmations are not a necessity to fulfill God’s calling on our lives.

Mark 6:1-6 tells us about a time when Jesus and His disciples went back to His hometown. The people in His hometown were people that knew Jesus. They interacted with Him. They knew His parents. They had the opportunity to see Jesus grow and develop from childhood. Jesus was God manifested in the flesh. But Jesus had a human side also. If there is any time we would like to shine, it’s in front of our hometown crowd. We’ve all heard of the “hometown boy makes good” stories and how heartwarming they can be. This was an opportunity for Jesus to do something good among the people He grew up around.

But when He began to teach boldly in the synagogue, the murmurs began. “Where did this man get these things?”, “What’s this wisdom that has been given to Him that He even does miracles?”, “Isn’t this the carpenter?”, “Isn’t this Mary’s son?” The bible says that the people in His hometown, those who knew Him best, were offended at Him. The cloud of unbelief that surrounded the town was so thick that the bible says Jesus could do no mighty works there, except lay His hands on a few sick people and heal them.

I’m sure in one sense this was a heart-wrenching experience for Jesus. But at the same time, it’s liberating for us to be able to look back on this situation. It’s liberating for us to know that although affirmations from people are great, they aren’t necessary to fulfill the calling God has placed on our lives. The work that Jesus did while He was here on earth was validated by the Father. The only affirmation that Jesus needed was that of His Father. In fact, Jesus Himself said on another occasion, “I always do those things that please the Father”.

The calling on our lives is ordained by God. If we are following the leading of the Holy Spirit and order our steps with His direction, God’s affirmation is all that we need in our lives. If you feel like you’re out on an island by not being acknowledged in the work you do, I want to encourage you to continue faithfully on your journey. Don’t allow the lack of affirmation from man to stop you or cause you to doubt that what you’re doing has value to the Lord and to others.

The work that God has ordained to be done in and through you will serve its purpose. It will minister to those who were destined to be ministered to. Seek the affirmation of the Holy Spirit in your life’s calling and allow that alone to validate you in the work that you do. Affirmations from men are great, but far from needed. Treat affirmations that you get from men as icing on the cake. Embrace them. Receive them, but don’t make them a requirement.

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