Marriage like anything else, takes work. You will only get out of it what you put into it. I believe the longer you’re married, the easier marriage should become.
If you’re a bus driver, your most difficult day was probably your first day, when you didn’t know the routes. If you’re a plumber, your most difficult day was probably your first day, when you were unsure of your skills. If you’re a teacher, your most difficult day was probably your first day in dealing with the kids on your own.
Whatever we do in life gets easier the longer we do it. This seems to be the standard principle in life except when it comes to marriage. Marriage seems to be the only endeavor that seems to get more difficult the longer we’re married. Couples are divorcing after 20, 25 and even 30 years of marriage.
How you and your partner handle the response to having to pedal your marital bike means everything to the success of your marriage.
Can you imagine the tenure and experience a teacher of 30 years has? Anyone that has been doing anything for 30 years would be considered an expert. They would be the person that has a wealth of knowledge in their chosen field. It seems that if anyone could make something work, it would be the person whose been doing it for 30 years….but not in marriage.
A great illustration for marriage would be a couple starting out on a two-seater bike at the top of a hill. When they begin their marital bicycle journey, they start out fast, zooming down the slope without having to pedal the bike all. The emotional high that they are on blinds them into thinking that they can maintain the maximum amount of downhill speed with a minimal amount of effort.
They may start out with deceptive thoughts that they will be able to maintain this emotional high for a lifetime together. They may even equate the emotional feelings they are experiencing to being love itself. The idea of love and marriage being work is absurd to the couple at this stage of their relationship.
But sooner or later, the downhill slope flattens out and all they can see ahead of them is miles of flat land. As their downhill speed subsides, the couple comes to the realization that they are going to have to pedal their bike in order to keep it moving forward.
Having never pedaled before, they become disillusioned into thinking that the love is gone, because maintaining a relationship which never required effort before, has become a “chore”.
No matter who you are. No matter how in love you are. No matter who you choose to marry, there will come a time when your downhill slope of emotion will level off. How you and your partner handle the response to having to pedal your marital bike means everything to the success of your marriage.
Your Marriage should age like fine Wine
If you’re engaged to be married, I encourage you to educate yourself about the life you are about to embark upon with your partner. No doubt you probably think that you must know as much about one another as possible before you take the marital plunge, but knowing as much about one another as possible is over rated. Seeking to learn as much about your potential partner as possible is like trying to shoot at and hit a moving target because people grow and change. What someone is like today may not be who they are next year.
What you should spend the most time getting to know about your partner is their will. Do they have strong resolve? Are they sold out to doing any and everything to make the marriage work, or do they fold up and cave in when the going gets tough….and it most certainly will. Are you both willing to fight through any setback as a team to overcome the obstacles that will come against your marriage?
If you and your partner are willing to make your marriage work at all costs, getting over the rough spots that will show up from time to time will only serve as stepping stones which force you to grow closer together instead of farther apart.