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Words are Fragile Containers – Handle with Care

words

Words are the means by which we deliver our thoughts, intent and emotions to those around us. Honoring your wife (God’s daughter) with your words is a skill that must be mastered in order to truly become the man God wants His daughter to have.

Your words are simply containers. They contain thoughts and ideas that are both positive and negative. The contents of your container (your thoughts, intent and emotions) can become damaged and/or broken by how rough you handle the container when you deliver it.

Several times I have purchased items online only to find that my item was broken or damaged when I received it. How I wish that those who were charged with the handling of my package had taken the time to handle it with the same care they would expect when someone was handling something that was important to them.

If you want your wife to trust you emotionally, you are going to have to become proficient at the delivery of your thoughts through your words.

Men, realize that it’s not what you say to your wife it’s how you say it that matters most. The way your words are delivered can make all the difference in the world to how your wife receives what you have to say. The impact of your words on someone’s heart can carry healing properties or they can be destructive, the effects of which can last for years.

If you want to develop into a husband that your wife can talk to about her innermost feelings, you’re going to have to become skillful at the art of using your words, in conjunction with your expressions and body language to convey your thoughts and emotions to her in a way that she can understand you.

Did you know that the ultimate sign of trust in an animal is to lie on its back and expose their most vulnerable side to you? What the animal is saying is that I trust that you won’t hurt me; therefore I can afford to expose my most vulnerable side to you.

Delivering Your Words Properly

If you want your wife to show you that same kind of trust emotionally, you are going to have to become proficient at the delivery of your thoughts through your words. It’s not enough for you to deliver your thoughts to her in the same way that you would want them delivered to you. The statement “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” definitely DOES NOT apply when it comes to conveying your thoughts to your wife.

I’m a pretty blunt, straight forward person. I don’t like “sugar coating” the truth. However, I’ve learned that just because I prefer to receiving truth in this way, doesn’t mean that my wife receives truth in the same way.

It would be disastrous if I attempted to deliver my thoughts, feelings and emotions to her in the same way I would prefer to receive from her.

You will need to take the time to study your wife and discover the delivery system that works best for her and then become proficient at delivering your thoughts by your words. The art of becoming a good delivery person takes time to learn and is different for each man.

If you want to be a GREAT husband, take the time to develop your skills. The skill of becoming a good delivery person is paramount to you becoming the husband of her dreams.

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13 Comments

  1. This is so true. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, Proverbs 18:21. A husband can speak life to his wife. These were great points that you pointed out.

  2. May GOD continue to Bless you.

  3. “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” – I think it does apply. While true, the actual delivery of the words (or even the words themselves) will not be the same between what a man needs and what a woman needs… the underlying concept does matter: A husband wants (and deserves) his wife to be respectful and understanding to his needs when it comes to communication; and the same is true of a wife towards her husband.

    Anyway, great post! God bless.

    • Thanks for your comment Brandi…

      I have to vehemently disagree with you on this one, particularly when it comes to relationships, which is what this post is about. For years a floundered about as a husband trying to “treat my spouse as I wished to be treated”. I failed miserably. Not everyone is the same. Not everyone wants the same things. Men and women are absolutely different in the things they want, things they value, and ways they want to be treated.

      It’s incumbent upon us to first take the time to find out how others want to be treated, then do our best treat them that way. Taking for granted that everyone wants to be treated like we do is a recipe for disaster!

      • I think we're actually saying the same thing, Greg…. Or, meaning the same thing…

        I'm saying that "Do unto others…" does not mean to do the exact same thing. It means to treat others with the same respect and understanding of the other person's needs as you would expect that person to treat you.

        My needs may involve plenty of chocolate – yours may involve plenty of strawberry shortcake… but we both have needs that must be respected. I can't expect you to meet my need for chocolate, if I can't respect and meet your need for strawberry shortcake…

        I guess I have simply never taken the phrase "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" completely literally… I have always understood it the way you have described how we should be…

  4. I like this post! I used to try to treat my husband as I wanted to be treated, giving love and lots of words. What I didn't understand was that his needs were so different from mine! He needed respect and my cooperation with his leadership, not long, loving letters every day.

    Now I understand the golden rule differently. I seek to meet my husband's needs as I would want him to meet my needs. It is the golden rule, but allows for understanding that we as men and women are VERY different and we are unique as individuals, too. Thanks for the great post!

    • Thank you for your comment. This is a lesson that’s so elementary, but most of us miss it completely when we’re starting out in life. We think that because we need/want/desire to be treated in a certain way, everyone in the world does as well. Nothing could be further from the truth. Thank you once again for your comment!

  5. Planting Potatoes

    thanks for the great advice……!

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