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Spiritual Maturity levels: When Husbands and Wives aren’t Compatible

spiritual maturity

Spiritual maturity levels that differ within a marriage can be challenging to the marriage. I used to think that as long as two people are Christians they would be able to work out any problem they may face in life. Looking back now, I consider that way of thinking ludicrous. 

We all have individual relationships with God. We all have a varying understanding of the scriptures, and we all have different life experiences where spiritual things are concerned.

If you married someone that is in the 5th grade spiritually speaking and you are a spiritual freshman in college, it’s unreasonable to think that they will be able to walk in the Spirit to the same degree that you can.

To think that we will meet and eventually marry someone who is exactly our spiritual equal at the time of marriage is quite a long shot.

How do you handle a situation where you and your spouse are at different levels of spiritual maturity? Well, for starters I believe you must convey that you have your spouse’s best interest at heart.

When a genuine love is conveyed, understanding takes a back seat to trust. I don’t 100% understand God’s way of doing things. But because I’m convinced of His love for me, I trust Him without the need for understanding.

The same is true in a marital relationship. If my wife were spiritually more mature than I was, the genuine love that she has for me would make me more open to learning, accepting, trusting and adopting the spiritual wisdom and knowledge she has that I may lack.

Exhibiting Spiritual Maturity within the household

When it comes to being a good witness for Christ, most people think that they can take off their witnessing coat at the door when they get home. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

A spouse that’s not as spiritually mature as you are needs the constant reminder of what (and who) is at work within your marriage and within your household 24/7/365.

Nothing speaks louder than a good example and no place is tougher to be a good example than at home. Make your home the primary mission field in your life. Although your mission may not be winning the lost, exhibiting the love of God, teaching His ways, and training loved ones in the development of good spiritual habits, while imparting the love of Christ to those closest to you is just as important.

And lastly, resist the “I’m right and you’re wrong” mentality. Nothing opens eyes and endears one to another more than love. Love is the key to winning the lost, and love is key to helping those in your household who may not be on your spiritual maturity level to see you as someone who they can model after as you model after Christ.

Spiritual Maturity comes with time

If you married someone that is in the 5th grade spiritually speaking and you are a spiritual freshman in college, it’s unreasonable to think that they will be able to walk in the Spirit to the same degree that you can.

Don’t look down on your spouse if he or she is not on your level spiritually. Patience on your part will go a long way toward helping them grow into spiritual maturity.

As the spiritually mature partner in your marriage, I encourage you to teach without teaching. Mentor without mentoring. Coach without coaching. Allow the circumstances of life to become your laboratory.

Show your partner how a spiritually mature person responds to the issues of life and be a living classroom to your spouse without ever saying a word to him or her.

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4 Comments

  1. When my husband and I got married, we were both of the "eh, whatever" maturity when it came to spirituality. We both believed in God (at least, I think he did… we never really discussed it) but that was about the extent. We got married in a church. Our children were baptized in the church. But that's about as far as our spirituality went.

    Fast forward a couple decades… I'm a firm believer, church goer, Bible reader. And my husband…. bounces between not believing there is a God and believing there might be, but if there is, he's not a God of grace, love and mercy.

    Trying to " teach without teaching. Mentor without mentoring. Coach without coaching" is a definite struggle. Good post!

    • And I think its worse when the wife is more mature than the husband. We husbands hate to feel like we are being led by our wives. It takes a crafty wife to teach, lead, and train a husband while allowing the husband to feel like he’s the one in control. I don’t envy you. Thanks for the comment!

  2. very insightful article

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