My wife just sent me an Instant Message to let me know that she broke her glasses. Her plan is to get off work about 30 minutes early today and stop in at the Optometrist’s office on her way home to check on getting a new pair. We did the budget last night and needless to say, we didn’t work broken glasses into the budget. No big deal right?
It could be a big deal if we allowed it to be. But instead, we choose to laugh it off. You may wonder why in the world we would choose to joke about this situation. The Answer: It’s because we love to fight (I’ll explain in a moment).
When my wife sent me the IM, I wrote her a short paragraph reminding her who we are in Christ (not that she needed the reminder, we just enjoy building one another up throughout the day), and that God will take care of this situation just like He has so many times in the past.
My wife and I have a set of core values in our marriage. Core values are key to the survival of a marriage. Our core values are our security blanket.
After I sent the email to my wife, I spent a few minutes thanking God for the life partner He has given me. My wife and I have a set of core values in our marriage.
1 – We absolutely will not be divided when we are attacked financially, physically or in any other way.
2 – We absolutely will not be divided when it comes to decisions made regarding our children.
Notice I said that we will not be divided. I didn’t say that we agree on everything 100% of the time.
The fact of the matter is that my wife and I don’t agree all the time. But before a decision is made, we come together and talk about what move would be best for our family.
99% of the time, these talks take less than 5 minutes. Just a simple “How do you feel about this?” Is all it takes. After my wife and I state our cases, we then move in the agreed upon direction together.
Core values are key to the survival of a marriage. Our core values are our security blanket. I know how my wife feels about certain important elements of our marriage, such as finances so when the time comes for a financial decision to be made, most of the time we are already on the same page.
My wife and I have taken the time to discuss the important issues of our marriage BEFORE the crisis hits so when we need to make a move, we know the direction we most likely will go in and we know where our priorities lie.
The Enemies Two Sided Attack
One of the major tools the enemy uses within the context of marriage is in-fighting. Not only is he positioned on the perimeter of the marriage launching grenades at you from outside, he has succeeded at infiltrating our homes, causing us to fight against one another from within.
We make his job easier by accepting his poisonous packages sent to our homes as he sits outside watching us destroy one another from within.
Fighting the good fight together against your common enemy
Fighting can be dangerous if not done properly. My wife and I know who our enemy is and we know how to fight. Have you ever wondered why the bible says to “Fight the GOOD fight of faith” in 1 Timothy 6:12? One, because we win, and two because it’s fun! Fighting is always fun when you know you’re going to win.
My Wife and I are no longer Puppets
I encourage you and your spouse to stop being used by the enemy. Sit down with one another and agree that God is the Head of your household. Make His Word the final authority. God’s Word is more sure than any contract that the two of you could ever agree to.
Come to the understanding that your spouse is not your enemy. You are one. You train together. You eat together, sleep together, and you fight together.
Make the quality decision that you will no longer be divided, knowing that if the enemy cannot divide you, he cannot win. God, plus you, plus your spouse all in agreement equals an undefeatable combination.
Submit yourselves unto God, resist the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7).
FaithsMessenger articles written by Greg Winfield