Love your Wives even as Christ Loves the Church


Love your wives even as Christ loved the church…

We are all familiar with the saying, “A Dog is Man’s Best Friend”. Along with the K-9 characteristics of loyalty and dedication, dogs simply make us feel good. A dog will sit at the door or on the porch waiting for your arrival and as soon as he hears the distinct sound of your car approaching, he will hop to his feet in anticipation. When you walk through the door, your dog will be all over you showing you his love every single day for the rest of his life. As humans, we all need to feel loved and no creature on earth shows love on a more consistent basis than a dog.

Husbands, have you ever given consideration to what happens psychologically in our wives when, during the first days, weeks, or months of our marriages when we greet our spouses with warm kisses, flowers, candy and other tokens of affection and these shows of affections taper off after time? What signals are we sending? Could it be that we’re sending the subtle message that we don’t value our wives as we once did?

Make the decision to love, not based upon how your wife treats you, but based upon the fact that God commands us as husbands to love our wives.

As husbands, our responsibility is to love our wives. Love is the foundation upon which all the other necessities that make up a strong marriage are built. If you feel that something is lacking in your relationship with your spouse, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you’re actually loving your wife the way she desires to be loved. One place to start is by making her feel good. Take a lesson from your dog. No matter what kind of day it’s been, go absolutely crazy with excitement when your wife arrives home. Make her the celebrity of your life and become star stuck with her. If you arrive home before she does, take her coat and her shoes when she gets home. If she likes tea or coffee, make sure it’s piping hot and there for her when she’s ready for it. Give her a pleasant and peaceful environment to come home to. Dedicate yourself to helping her unwind from her busy day by listening to her and allowing her to unload her days “emotional baggage” while massaging her feet.

If your wife is normally home before you arrive, take the time on the way home to pray and get into the right mindset. Deal with your emotional baggage before you get home so that you can dedicate yourself to her. Go through the mental checklist of: what am I feeling, why am I feeling what I’m feeling, whose fault is it that I’m feeling what I’m feeling, do I want to change what I’m feeling and if so, how do I change the way I’m feeling. If you’re under pressure and stress, allow your wife to be a part of your stress relieving process. See her as a partner and a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.

Make the decision to love

Make the decision to love, not based upon how your wife treats you, but based upon the fact that God commands us as husbands to love our wives – Ephesians 5:25. If you feel you’re being cheated or not getting what you feel you deserve in return from your efforts, let God take care of that end of it. Your job is to be that faithful pup and love your wife with all your heart every day for the rest of your life.


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  1. Thank you so incredibly much for this post! I spent a few hours today attempting to choke down a lengthy "sermon" written by another man, telling women how they are servants to their husbands and must call him Lord or Sir; and how they belong to their husband; and the list goes on.

    Don't get me wrong… I think a woman should also treat her husband with the same enthusiasm and love as you've described above. But, most of us are much more likely to respond with love and appreciation when we're greeted with the actions you've described.

    • You’re joking right? Or maybe you’re exaggerating a little……

      It’s hard to believe that some still hold this archaic way of thinking when it comes to roles that men and women play. I believe that when Jesus said love never fails in 1 Corinthians 13:8, He meant that it never fails in any situation and circumstance where it is used…including in a marital situation.

      I think it’s time to do more than take what we perceive marriage to be and simply “try harder” at making marriage work. We need to completely rethink what it means to be a husband or wife, and totally change our perception of what it means to cultivate a successful marriage if we are going to turn the divorce tide around.

      Thanks for your comment…

  2. Sadly, I'm not joking or exaggerating… and I find it hard to believe also that some still hold this archaic way of thinking.

    I agree with you – it is time to figure out what it means to be husband and wife in this day and age and fix the issue with marriage/divorce.

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